A Bit About You
You’re definitely doing better at night now. Once you’ve had your bottle and are changed and swaddled you go to sleep pretty quickly until your next feed with the odd few squeaks. You’re having 5oz of formula at each feed now and we’re putting Dentinox in your bottles as well which is really helping with your wind.
You’ve started smiling at people properly now which is lovely and you’re more awake and alert, trying to chat to people. You love your little bouncy chair when its on vibrate mode and will just chill in there while I sort your sister out.
You seem to be cluster feeding of a morning now while were breastfeeding. You seem to want to feed every hour but you feed more efficiently so your done in 20 minutes. Whereas of an evening you can be feeding for 20 minutes or can even go 2 hours.
A Bit About Me
We’re so close to your tongue tie appointment now but I am soooo close to quitting breastfeeding. How anyone manages to breastfeed with a toddler to look after I have no idea. Daddy has done 2 12 hour shifts this week and of course, you want to cluster feed right when Sadie needs to have dinner, bath time and bedtime…how do I do that?! I’ve somehow managed to so far but I feel like I’m doing half a job for one of you. If I’m feeding you, I’m not doing proper dinners for Sadie or she’s going to bed earlier than what we would normally put her down. She didn’t even get a bath the other night because you wouldn’t stop feeding.
OR, I’m short changing you. So last night I just had to pull you off the boob and leave you in the basket to cry just so I could feel like I was being a good mum to Sadie and do a proper bedtime for her. Then the Mum Guilt kicks in because you’re a tiny baby and I should just feed you! It’s never ending. You had been on the boob for a constant hour and a half before that but i cant leave Sadie awake until you feel like stopping eating. Before we introduced formula at 8pm you would sometimes be on the boob until 10pm.
I’m still not really enjoying breastfeeding apart from first thing in the morning when you come into bed and we have a chilled feed. I can doze and you just come off in your own time and snuggle into me. I love it. BUT this doesn’t outweigh how much it frustrates me the rest of the time. I still find it so stressful not knowing if you’re still hungry or not so I end up just putting you on the boob again but I never know if its for comfort or food. It’s fine on days where Sadie is in nursery or I have nothing to do but that’s rare!
So yeah…in general, just completely stressing about breastfeeding still!
What We Have Been Up To
Daddy went back to work this week…he wasn’t supposed to go back until Tuesday but he didn’t realise he had a shift on Sunday until 20 minutes into it when he got a text off someone in work! So he had to go in unexpectedly and we were thrown in the deep end. Daddy has had 2 12 hour shifts and I’m not quite brave enough to leave the house alone with both of you, especially if you need to breastfeed… What do I do with Sadie if you want to nurse for 45 minutes?! So we haven’t really left the house but for the first week alone with you both I didn’t expect to to be honest. Nor do I feel like it.
We did go to Prezzo for Nanny’s birthday but we had Daddy with us and you had just had formula before we left. You tend to go 3 hours minimum after formula so I knew I didn’t really need to worry about you too much. You’re a lot less fussy and tend to just chill out right away.
We have tongue tie appointment on Thursday and I’m still not sure what we’re going to do. I’m leaning towards bottle feeding permanently after it so unless they say its drastically going to affect your speech in later life I may not have it cut. But then I think that maybe we should still get it cut and I may enjoy breastfeeding a little more. I don’t know. I’m so undecided. I just don’t want to put you through it if I don’t have to.